Miss Nothing
by PrincessRotation
Summary: Short Songfic to Miss Nothing by the Pretty Reckless. Broken Seddie.


**The Pretty Reckless; Miss Nothing**

**samxfreddie**

_and as i watch you disappear into the ground  
>my one mistake was that i never let you down<br>__so i'll waste my time  
>and i'll burn my mind<br>i miss nothing, i miss everything_

He was gone. Well - almost. More like going. She could feel it.  
>The Freddie she had fallen for was slipping away from her. She felt alone.<br>And she didn't know why this was happening to her. After a few months of her being quite a bad girlfriend, she had decided she wanted Freddie enough to keep. So she cleaned up her act and tried to be the perfect girlfriend. She was polite to his nerd friends, she didn't break his stuff, insult him, play pranks on him, or do anything that her juvie-bred family would be proud of.  
>She was becoming a good girlfriend. She had changed for him.<br>But as she changed, he changed.  
>She threw her empty bottle at her wall and watched as the small amount of alcohol left dripped down it.<p>

She hadn't really noticed it for a long time, but now thinking back, there were always small things in the back of her mind that she did. For instance, as she would be at home cooking for when he got home, he would be out drinking in a bar with his friends and flirting with random girls. Sam wanted to be jealous, but told herself that boys will be boys and that making a scene over something like that would not be good for the relationship.

So she tried not to question him about anything or act upset when he got in at eleven and stumbled straight to bed saying he wasn't hungry, sorry. Another meal in the bin, another step closer to feeling worthless.

And then he had started to be less - loving, with her. He didn't want to cuddle. He didn't want to make out. He didn't even want that much sex any more, and when they had it, he wasn't into it. She could tell his mind was in another place.

And she felt betrayed. She had tried so hard to be his perfect girl. She had stopped ruining things for him and tried to help him achieve his dreams. And now he was throwing it back in her face. She would never be good enough for Freddie. Why wasn't she perfect enough? She had tried so hard, so hard.

The noise of the bottle awakened Freddie. 'Jesus, Sam. Keep it down. I've had a hard day of-'  
>She snapped. This wasn't fair. 'Hard day of what? Drinking? Flirting? Ignoring me?'<br>'...Sam, I-'  
>'Save it Freddie. I don't want an argument.' She rubbed her head, god she felt old. And she was only 19. This was no good for her at all. This relationship failing had ruined her. It wasn't healthy. 'I think we should break up.' She said. It was so much easier than she thought. It felt good to hurt him for once. Like old times.<p>

'What? Sam look, we can work through our problems-'

'No, they're not my problems. They're yours. I have done _everything_ right in this relationship. I changed for you. Tried to be your perfect girl. And you just don't want me.'

It was silent.

'So what's the point?' She finished, getting up.

'You can pack and leave.' She demanded. He knew not to argue with her about who was staying in the apartment. He knew, at the back of his mind, what he had put her through and she hadn't deserved it at all.

'I want you to know, I love you.' He said, before hauling his stuff down the hallway that Sam had silently helped him pack.

She chuckled almost sadly. 'Nah Freddo, you don't.'

And this was the kind of thing that he missed from her. He realized it was his fault, she had felt pressured to be perfect and so had changed her whole self to please him. He had killed the old Sam that he fell in love with. And if her kicking him out meant that she would be herself again... Then he was happy for her.

'I do.' He whispered. And then he left.

Sam wanted to hurt him. Hurt him like he hurt her. So she slept with loads of guys. She did drugs. She drank all the time. She wore so much eye liner and dressed in so little clothes that she looked like freaking Taylor Momsen. ( ;D ) She wanted to show him that she wasn't going to be his perfect girl. She didn't want to be his perfect girl any more. She didn't need him. And she was ruining herself to show him this, ironically.

But it got her message across. He realized what she was doing, and one say showed up on her doorstep. He apologized. Months after the argument, he was apologizing. He was hardly finished, when Sam had climbed on top of him and sat straddling him, kissing him hotly.

'I want you to know, this is gonna mean nothing to me. You're just another fuck now.' She said, and he couldn't bring himself to reply. He watched her take her clothes off, and he couldn't help himself. He had long, hard, amazing sex with her.  
>And when they were done, she told him he wasn't good enough for her, and told him to leave.<p>

'Be mine again.' He asked as she tried to push him out of the door.

'I'm nobodies.' She laughed, and all he could see was emptiness in her eyes. He hated himself for what he had done to her.

'I only acted that way because you changed. I know you did it with good intentions, for me. But I fell in love with you for who you were before. And you're not her any more. If you ever change your mind about me, tell the old Sam to give me a call. Cause I love her.' He said, before leaving.

He never got that phone call.

* * *

><p>bdndsoe tfujehf=rj angsty.<p> 


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